What hurts the most

This is what hurts the most. My children have fur, scales, and hearts of gold. Charlie has not left my side all night. She doesn’t want to sleep in her crate that she loves. No she knows full well that her home is broken and being torn apart. She knows that I am going to have to leave, and that she is going to be alone. She has never known anything other then her life with her brother and Cinder. I don’t want to leave her here but I know that I don’t have a choice.

I know he won’t take care of her. He only wants her as a possession. She will end up either locked in her crate or outside for hours on end. She will probably stop eating and become depressed, lethargic, and sick. He won’t notice he will just see her as being less rambunctious. That or he will leave spoiled food put for her to eat and poison her.

Vader my precious sweet baby boy kitty is also staying with him. His litter box will be filled with maggots, because he never cleans it. He probably won’t feed him regularly and he will waste away.

At least they will both have toilet water when their bowls run dry.

Cinder is going to stay with Dad because she loves him. Ty will be as well. Castiel is going with Ashley Mae and Alexis because he loves and protects her. Snappy is probably going to Dads or coming with me. We have had her 23 years and she still has a long life a head of her.

I’m looking to rehome my scale dragon babies Eros & Molly. It wouldn’t be fair to bring them with me for only another year. They are still young and they can live 20+ years as well.

My ratties are coming with me. Two of them are coming towards the end of their life. They don’t tend to live very long, but they give so much love with their little hearts.

This is what toxicity and abuse looks like. He never loved me I was simply a tool. He knew full well that I would protect them at all costs. Even if that cost is losing most of them so they can be safe. He knew that I wouldn’t leave them. They are why I came back. He knew it would shatter me, but that was all apart of the game that I didn’t even know I was in much less that was losing.

Even this is just one more piece of the puzzle. Simply another way to break my spirit and my heart.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s