The closing of a chapter and the beginning of a new one.

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I have reached one of those points in life where you just know that you are closing one chapter only to be on the brink of starting another. That moment when you hold your breath praying that this isn’t the end of the story because as much as we all love closure we never actually want our beloved stories to end.

We have laughed, cried, fallen, crawled, spilled blood, and risen with the characters that we have grown so fond of. You know the exact moment that you connected with this character and ultimately fell in love with them.

You are in mourning and despair as you learn that some of the ones you have grown so fondly for will not be coming with you into the next chapter of your life. It’s almost like holding a funeral for a beloved that has passed, though the silver lining here is you never know if maybe someday things will be different. Something that helps drive that final blow in though is when objects of comfort that have held and comforted you also will not be coming.

That moment when you realize that there is no net below you and you are on a breathtaking mountain. Everything you can see fills you with so much happiness, but there isn’t a guarantee that what you see is what you will get. There is also a chance that what you seek is not what you need. So you hold the D20 tightly in your grip almost as if you are praying.

You close your eyes and hold your breath as you slowly turn around. Your body slowly rocking back and forth tears streaming down your face. The fear of the unknown trying to suffocate you, but the feeling of pure driven passion is burning inside you.

At that moment you have one of those moments that stops time. As you hold your breath and fall back off of the mountain. You can see every single way that you could possibly fail, but at this moment those do not matter. All you can see is the softest glow of a single whisper of a moment where you don’t fail.

I have reached one of those moments in my life. I am slowly turning the page to a new chapter. A section that doesn’t contain everyone in my life, and where a comfort item has to be left behind to continue on. That item being my car. I fought as hard as I could, but I simply couldn’t do it alone. I had several amazing people reach out and try to help me, but it simply was not enough this time. Maybe it was supposed to end this way.

A chapter where I will no longer be hiding who I am. My voice is growing deeper by the day. I can see the physical changes that are happening to my body rapidly. The net is falling apart, and my only choices are to fall or fly. Though many wish that I fall I choose to soar, and if by chance I do fall I will then learn to swim.

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