When I sat down and tried to write out my triggers I realized I had to remember the abuse to identify the triggers from it. That’s when I found it. Deep in the back of my mind their is a dark colored door with heavy worn chains on with more darkness oozing from beneath it. It has obviously been here for sometime now.
I lean against it and try to see through the cracks, but the darkness that is oozing from it begins to choke me. All I can feel is terror. When it throws me backwards away from the door I sit stunned. Though I notice that from pressing against the door a piece of the wood has fragmented off, and there is not darkness flowing through my once peaceful mind.
I run back to my haven that I have built as fast as I can. I secure the doors knowing the tree that protects my santuary handle itself. Then I slide down the door and begin to shake and cry. I have this ominous feeling that the darkness is coming. That is when I wake up with a jerk.
I’m very disoriented, but I feel like I’m swimming in lava it’s so hot. As I slowly bring everything into focus I realize two of my loves are laying on me. Both with their heads on my chest and their legs snaked through mine. I quickly snake myself away from them and slip into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face.