Gruff and I have finally started putting pen to paper figurately to begin working on our long overdue contract. Normally, when taking a new submissive I have a contract set up before we do anything else. Though, when he came in I was heading in for surgery, and then I had an unexpected long recovery. So we are actually just starting to really sit down and get everything figured out between the two of us.
Last night, was filled with so many mixed emotions. We ended up getting into an argument while we were working on our contract, and then later I broke down and told him that I felt like our relationship was fucked. He wanted to know if I thought that it was going to fail, and my response to him was that I simply didn’t know. I don’t want our relationship to fail, but I also know that it takes two people to make a relationship work. You need a good foundation built on honesty, trust, loyalty, and communication. Without even 1 of the 4, you don’t have a relationship at all.
If I can not trust him enough, to be honest with him then there is no point in continuing. If I can not trust what he tells me there is no point in continuing. If he is unfaithful there is no point in continuing. If we can not communicate there is no point in continuing. A lot of people get that so wrong, and they think that it will just work itself out in time. As the survivor of two abusive relationships, and plenty of other just bad relationship I know for a fact that it never works that way. You might have good intentions, but if your foundation isn’t strong nothing you build on it will be either.
With how our relationship began, though, and has moved so quickly. I fear that we ourselves do not currently have a strong enough foundation to build our relationship on. I’m not saying we built the foundation of our relationship on sand, but that I feel that there are many cracks and holes in it. I do not feel that it is doomed, though. I feel that it is not too late to go back through and fill in the holes and cracks. I feel that we need to talk about what a foundation is made of honesty, trust, loyalty, and communication. Then, we need to build on it.