My Expectations within a Relationship

  • Maintain transparent communication between partners at all times.
  • Sympathetic dialogue where we share our experiences, thoughts, feelings, and desires in a friendly, uninterrupted context.
  • Ask for clarification to make sure you understand what they are trying to convey, think, and feel.
  • Discuss one problem at a time.
  • Silence can be deafening…
  • Be aware of what you and your partner(s) want for yourselves and what you want from the relationship.
  • Problems will not break us. Working together on problems will make us stronger.
  • Let one another know what your needs are.
  • Realize that your partner(s) will not be able to meet all your needs. Some of these needs will have to be met outside of the relationship.
  • Be willing to negotiate and compromise on the things you want from one another.
  • Try to see things from the other’s point of view. This doesn’t mean that we must agree with one another all the time, but rather that both of us can understand and respect each other’s differences, points of view, and separate needs.
  • Where critical differences do exist in your expectations, needs, or opinions, try to work honestly and sincerely to negotiate.
  • Treat each other in a way that says, “I trust you, and I want to work this out.”
  • Make time each day to share with each other some of the events of the day.
  • Important decisions should be discussed between both parties.
  • Respect each other differences.
  • Have a clear understanding of each other’s personality, strengths, and weakness.
  • Spend ample quality time together outside of the bedroom.
  • Affirm strong, ongoing commitment by both/all partners.
  • Remain flexible in negotiating terms of the partnership & dynamic.
  • Integrate Power Exchange dynamics into everyday activities.
  • Engage in ongoing sexual & BDSM activities that bond partner(s) to one another while reinforcing their self identities.
  • Recognize that both/all partners must share common values and interests outside of the lifestyle to maintain a long term union.
  • Put an emphasis on being together and doing things together.
  • Like spreading out blankets and pillows on the floor. Gathering up our favorite drinks and snacks we can pretend the TV is broken and talk till the sun comes up or something else happens. If the floor gets too hard we can always retreat to the bedroom after a while.*
  • Periodically reset/calibrate the relationship to ensure that partners remain interested in and connect to one another.
  • Be cautious of visible & invisible knowledge.
  • Like if I ask you to go to the store and buy a steak for a special dinner I want to prepare for you, and you come back with a choice Walmart rib-eye. For me I would blanch wondering why you didn’t get a NY Strip Steak. Without taking the time to talk to you I could become upset thinking you didn’t care, but if I take the time to ask you might say its the same size and shape of what I would buy. You didn’t know that I would want this particular kind of steak, because I did not tell you. Therefore that knowledge was invisible to you.
  • When either party realizes they have made a mistake, take immediate steps in correcting it.
  • Explore each other’s interests.
  • Respect each others needs, wants, desires, limits, and ideas.
  • Appropriate space and time should be observed after a conflict.
  • Intimacy

“Touch was never meant to be a luxury. It is a basic human need. It is an action that validates life and gives hope to both the receiver and the giver. The healing of touch is reciprocal.” – Irene Smith


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