Update that is way over due

  • Well we are obviously quite a ways into the new year.
  • Me and Nick survived being married for over 6 months now…
  • We still don’t have the girls on weekends, and sometimes I simply feel like we never will.
  • Taylor is graduating early, but I’m not invited to her graduation…
  • I feel like I’m driving a bigger wedge between her and Nick…
  • Nick and Cris have been fighting too… that’s probably because of me as well…
  • I’m about to lose my license as a massage therapist completely… unless I can figure out a way to do something fast…
  • I stopped working to take care of Nick… and I feel like he doesn’t even notice what I’m giving up for him.
  • I recently got my breast reduction surgery… though I am starting to wonder if it was worth it…
  • I met someone pretty amazing who has become my boyfriend. (Yes I’m still married we are poly)
  • I have been feeling like a burden far too much so I’ve started cleaning… probably a lot more then I should be, and I’m probably hurting myself to do it… Though if I don’t do it I’m going to go positively insane…
  • I think I’m still cleaning the bedroom… even though I’ve cleaned it a few times since Christmas… I feel like its never done.
  • My left breast has cellulitis pretty bad… it’s pretty bad, and I honestly can’t stand to look at myself in the mirror right now… but I’ve been hiding that fact pretty well.
  • Nick… can’t even fuck me. He’s tried a couple times now, but he just goes soft.
  • I showed him what my breast looked like when it started to get bad… its worse now… and I can’t help but notice how he looks at me now.
  •  I’m going to start doing Uber again… I’m not really sure if I should, but I have too.
  • I’m basically on the brisk of a anxiety attack… I just feel like everything is crushing down on me, and I just don’t know what to do.

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